This is the place where you can post your questions. Ask about South Korea, ask about Koreans, ask about dating Korean guys… whatever you want and we will do our best to answer it.
For answers we have given so far, click on the “Answers” above.
Write your question it in the comments bellow. When you post a question you can use your real name, nickname or remain completely anonymous. This will not influence whether we answer the question or not. That way, even if you are shy, you can still ask anything you want. 
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Hi!
First off, I should start by saying that I’m a Sri Lankan raised in the US. We look a lot like Southern Indians, with the darker skin and thicker hair, and I’ve heard my friends describe us as calmer versions of many Indians’ big personalities. I know that this question is fairly subjective, but in general would a Korean man ever find one of us attractive? Thank you so much for your help!
Thank you for your question. You are right, it is subjective but we will be happy to try and give you as objective answer as possible. Our answer will appear here on 1st of January 2012. so please check back.
Oegukeen and Kimchi Man 11
I’m a non-Korean girl dating a Korean boy, and would like to know how your experience of meeting the parents went? Did yours/his parents disapprove?
Hey, I saw your blog and I’m really glad you posted a question. We are looking forward to answering it on New Year’s day.
hye
i’m juz an ordinary simple girl..
will a korean guy attracted to me??
i would like to find one but i’m not confident enough..
and do u know where to learn hangul online and korean recipes online??
Hi, thank you for your question. I have some ideas where you might learn those. We will try to answer your question as soon as possible. Please check back soon.
How did the two of you meet? (I hope it’s not a too personal question!)
It’s not too personal, we will be happy to answer. We hope it will be published in the next 24h. Please check back soon
Hi! I’m a non-Korean girl (but still Asian-American) in a happy one-year-long relationship with a pure South Korean boy. I heart my oppa, who makes me feel loved and appreciated everyday…The problem is: my parents are biased toward other groups of people and hate my boyfriend, even though he’s never hurt or insulted them. He’s completely gentle and the most respectful person I’ve ever met. He’s so respectful he’ll stay out of my parents’ eyesight for fear that I’ll be lectured or disowned for dating “my” Korean boy. (But this doesn’t mean he’ll let go of our relationship.)
I’ve heard of relationships that work out just fine, like yours! But what kind of advice can you offer to a girl–or woman–who’s having difficulty choosing sides? Sure I love my family, as they are my providers and friends in one, but I’m also old enough to…well, start searching for my Mr. Right and have my own family. (To help you ponder this deeper, I’m 25 and my oppa’s 31 years of age).
And to be honest, I can’t see myself with another guy. I only see Oppa because I know him and I trust him. His loyalty and kind heart was what won me (not his looks, as my Dad would say, because supposedly “all Korean people look like movie stars”–but not my oppa; he’s just a nerd like me.)
Sorry for my length in words. Oppa says I write just as much as I talk. And I talk A LOT between the two of us.
So please, please, please offer me words of advice.
Thanks.
-writer1986
Thank you for your question. Don’t worry about the length, I am the talker as well, and Kimchi Man makes as much noise as a fish, so I totally understand
Hi, I met this South Korean guy 2 months ago in Seoul. We are from different countries. We have been keeping in touch, mostly initiated by me. I don’t dare to initiate many chatting sessions online for fear of being too straight forward in my likings for him. So far, he has mentioned that he missed me twice. My question is, how does South Korean guy actually go about liking/wooing a girl as I’ve read that they like to keep things hush. He always reply whenever I initiate the chattings, but I wonder if South Korean guys are apprehensive about taking initiative with other Asian girls? Do I continue waiting, taking initiative, ask him directly (will it scare him off), or just let it die down? I’ll be looking forward to any comments. Thanks
Hi, thank you for coming to us for advice. I can relate to your doubts because I was in a very similar situation with Kimchi Man. All turned out well for us so I hope same will happen for you. We will try to answer as soon as possible.
Hey Sunny. I was in the same shoes as you just last year. My boyfriend, aka Oppa, and I were mere acquaintances in grad school, and we eventually became very close due to course work. I soon feel for him when I realized how much of a big brother he acted towards me (thus I was granted permission to call him Oppa), and he was just being himself. I built a trust and liking toward his genuine self. Still–like you–I wasn’t sure if he liked me in return. We attended classes together, ate lunch together, did our homework till midnight together, texted our “Good mornings” and “Good nights”, but Oppa showed no other signs. I believe it took him three months to finally show an obvious sign: by asking me out to the museum (we’re nerds
), which led to our first hand-holding and kiss….So to help with your concern, I would say give your Korean some time. If he likes you, he’ll eventually show a better sign. And don’t worry about the small chattings, Oppa was the same too with his texts. If you feel your Korean is worth the wait (such as, he’s a great friend) then give him some time. And you may need to continue initiating things in the start of this relationship. I know I did. I like tell Oppa that “I” pursued him, because I did. We women are just more headstrong and realistic and go for what we want/need. So don’t be afraid to just continue your relationship as it is, as time will make it better. Think positive!…Good luck and best wishes^-^
Thank you for this good advice. We try to be as helpful as possible but it is always good to hear more than one opinion.
Hey ! In the first place I am from Europe and recently I found out that I have an affinity towards Korea. It`s small wonder that i like this country because when I was around 12 years old I watched anime and read manga . Briefly I want to work there or at least to visit this country. I tried to talk with my parents about this and they told me that I am dreaming too much and if i go there i would be a “castaway” and even if I find love his parents won`t accept me . I felt discouraged and right now I do not know what to believe . Can you please give me an advice? Thanks
We will be happy to try and help. Thank you for your question, we hope to give an answer soon.
Hello Oegukeen. I have to say I’ve really enjoyed you blog so far, and I also feel lucky to have stumbled across it because I have a very burning question.
About 6 years ago when I was still in college, I had a Korean male roommate (I am a caucasian female). He is a great guy, and we had an awesome time living together and got along very well. He was very considerate, polite and kind, and had a great sense of humour. However, the relationship was platonic. Over time though, my Korean roommate admitted that he had developed deep romantic feelings for me. At the time, however, I told him I wasn’t interested in him romantically, however I still did indeed want to continue as friends. And although it was awkward at times, we still tried to get along as best we could as before.
Eventually, I met someone else and moved out of the apartment with my new significant other. Despite that though, my old korean roommate and I stayed in contact and remained good friends. 5 years later though, my current relationship is ending. My old Korean roommie is still in my life, and we still meet up as friends to spend time together. However, I have come to realize though, that after all this time, that I do indeed deep down have a love and attraction for him, and that perhaps I was foolish in turning him down 5 years ago.
Ironically though, since he heard of the demise of my current relationship, I’ve notice that he has suddenly become a bit more communicative and chivalrous. The last time we hung out, he did things such as offer to come and pick me up and take care of the bill (he never really did that before). And he also asked me a big question-if I would accompany him on a trip to Europe (the French Riviera to be exact) in the summer (just me and him). He is still single at this time, and I’ll also admit that he has become even more handsome than he was than when we were roommates.
So, my dilemma is this. I am most certainly attracted to him and miss him alot, and would indeed like to pursue something romantic with him, even though the friendship (and my emotions) may be at risk.
Furthermore, even though I do indeed like him, I did NOT expect him to ask me on a trip to Europe with him so soon. I do genuinely hope it’s because he wants to spend time with me because he enjoys my company and possibly wants to try and conjure up romantic feelings, and not just because he wants to get in my pants.
I’m not sure what to make of the situation. Does he possibly still like me and have romantic feelings for me? And is he perhaps hesitant to ask me out because he got burned before?
I’m sorry this turned out to be so long! So many scenarios running through my mind. I’d definitely appreciate any insight, especially from Kimchi man!
Hi, thank you for your question. We will try to answer your question as soon as possible.
Thank you I look forward to it!
Oh, I answered your question about a week ago. You can find it in our “Answers” section or by clicking this link http://lovingkorean.wordpress.com/2012/02/28/qa-what-is-this-guys-ultimate-goal/
Oh, I forgot to mention…my korean roommate was born and raised in Canada (like me), but his parents are Korean. So I’m not sure if that makes too much of a difference, but it might help to know. Thank you!
I came across this blog from one of your submissions in Reddit. What kind of prejudices are you trying to break?
Welcome! We are glad you found us
Well, Korean men face some prejudices similar to other Asian men, for example that Asian men are not manly enough; and they also face more unique ones, for example, Korean men are agressive, or Korean men have to blindly obey their parents, etc. There are plenty of prejudices, and we don’t like any of them.
There is also a common misconseption that women who are in relationships with Korean guys must be doing so because they are crazed with Kpop or Korean dramas. Like it is impossible to be in love with a Korean man unless there exist some kind of fetish. It is possible to never have heard of Kpop and be in love with a Korean man, just as it is possible to like Kpop and love the Korean man for who he is.
It was our impression that vast majority of people who wrote something online were negative, so we like to focus in this blog on the more positive aspects to bring things into balance, as they should be.
After skimming through your comments on Reddit and your blog posts here, I want to say that I’m glad you’re doing what you’re doing even though I don’t agree with you 100%.
There are a lot of Westerners (I assume that most readers of this blog are connected to Western culture one way or another) who hold ideas and prejudices on matters related to this blog that are wrong, bigoted, and harmful that are supported mostly by confirmation biases, ignorance, and egocentric perspectives.
This describes a lot of Redditors, for example. And affects the natures of many discourse there. They reinforce each other and feed on each other with not many to oppose their views.
I don’t know with certainty what the right ideas are, nor do I know what the best methods to reaching the right ideas are. The only reason I don’t agree with you 100% is because there isn’t enough discussion on this matter from all sides. So I am glad you take it on yourself to hopefully make discussions on this topic more constructive down the long road.
Thank you for your support.
Unfortunately, it is not just Redditors who have this attitutude. However, I would like to believe that it is not the majority who thinks this way, but instead the minority who holds the prejudices is simply the loudest.
From my experience, those with mild or positive opinions usually don’t feel the need to push their opionons on others. I was like that as well, but decided it is unfair, and that I should speak up.
Honestly, I don’t think there is a right idea you can have about a group of people. Surely there are agressive Koreans just as there are gentle ones. We are all predesposed to generalize a group of people, but we should know to keep those generalizations to ourselves, and when we are about to meet a new person, to have absolutely no opinions about them.
I am happy that you want a discussion, I would like that as well. I don’t know where to take it, because there is only so many times I can publish it on Reddit before I cross the line.
If anyone is reading this, I would like to ask you to press those share buttons underneath each post so we can spread the word. And if you find an already existing discussion online, please let me know.
Hi… I am a non-Korean lady with Korean boyfriend 20 years ago. He’s already engaged when I met him that time.. Their engagement was blessed by his father before he died. Both his and his fiancee’ parents are arranging their marriage. He was then my best friend and suddenly we became lovers. We both know that our relationship would not last forever. Every moment we spent together always seems the last day of our lives. He came to our country to finish his master’s degree. Our relationship lasted for 2 years when he said goodbye and went back to Korea. I told him from the start I wont be demanding, if he has to go, I will be understanding. We parted our ways but our communication extended for another 2 years through calls and mails. I went to Malaysia to work and our intimation continues. He told me that he would be planning to go to Malaysia to work and be with me. He said if I would just say yes, he would leave his fiancee and face the issues with his parents and we could get married. I told him that we would never be happy if it would we would hurt those people who love him. I decided to quit. I don’t know if it was the right thing to do. I love him very much and God knows how I wish to be with him forever. I have explained to him that his real world is in Korea and he does not have to live in fantasies. We were on phone for more than 1 hour without saying a word. Tears came out from both of us. No sounds but you will feel the agony at both ends. Lastly, he said he would respect my decision and promised that he would wait for me on Doom’s Day. It was a love story that was given away for the sake of his family and I tried very hard to stand for it to move on. All our photographs, letters, and all his contact details have been sealed in a box and buried in a garden in front of our house in Shah Alam, Malaysia. I came back to to home country leaving all my treasured memories behind. After 20 years, I thought of searching him through face book without luck. Not to disturb him but only to see him, his family, his status, his career and to just say hi and hello. I can’t find him. For the past 20 years I thought I had moved on… Every now and then since then he was never out of my mind… and it would continue to be there until I die. If you could help me at least see his photographs or locate him. I would appreciate it very much. Please confirm to my email if you can and I will give you his details… email me please… viktorya.victoria@gmail.com
Your love story sounds like such a sad yet cute Korean drama–one I would probably be screaming at the TV for, for not going the way I would have liked T_T…. I hope and pray you find this old friend of yours and be able to put your heart and mind at rest.
This is really a very romantic story. I hope we can help you somehow. I will contact you by e-mail.
Hi Oegokeen and Kimchi Man, i sincerely thank you very much for your full support and efforts sending me his photographs. Truly amazing!!! I can’t believe it!!! How did you do it and managed to dig his photos… Thank you from the bottom of my heart… more power to your network!!!
We are so excited! We honestly didn’t think there was much chance that we can find his photos. We are so glad we could help.
Oegukeen has to admit that Kimchi Man is the one who should get the most credit, he is so good at searching
Hey Oegukeen and Kimchi Man. It’s writer1986 once again. I just thought I’d drop by with one more delima (and maybe more to come): So my Oppa is still not comfortable with telling his parents about our relationship, and they’re still pushing him to find someone and commit (preferrabl a nice Korean girl still in their home country.) Though my guts want Oppa to make us public and known, I also respect him enough not to push him in any direction. Still, his parents call at least 2 times a week, and his dad never stops finding names and numbers for him. And all this makes me question if I’m in a one-way relationship (with me as the only pole.) I’m starting to feel I’ve put in a lot of effort into this relationship (including introducing him to my family and taking the consequences) and I get very little in return. Part of me wants him to continue his loyalty to his parents and contact a Korean girl and stick to her. And then I’ll just pretend we’ve been only friends this whole time…. With so much pressure from both sides of our family, I just don’t know what to do anymore. Slowly my fantasies of us fades away as reality and “what if’s” consume me…. Help. I don’t know who to turn to anymore.
I’m sorry things are not going well and I hope we can help you decide what is best for you.
We replied to your question. You can find it if you click on the tab “Answers” on the top and it will appear under “Recent” on the right, for a while.
Good luck!
Hi…
Im indonesian women, and my boyfriend is korean men, we met 1 year ago in web online, we had chatting online about 1 month and then we realized that we have some kind of feeling, so he decided to come to my place in indonesia, that time i thought he just wanna go travel and in same time wants to meet me. but then after 3 days we meet in person, we felt the same feeling and he ask me to be his girlfriend, so after first met, we still keep in contact even more serious and then arrange another meeting, in kinabalu malaysia, we go travel together for almost 2 weeks, and the third meet, i visited him in philipine ( he took a english study for IELTS in PH) and the last meet after 4 month he came to see me in Jakarta( indonesia)
well.. there’s lot of negative thought from all of my friend, they seems to doubt our relationship, since we are interracial, inter religion,too much barrier.
but when he visited me in my living place, i introduced him to my closest friend, and after they know him in person, they realized, he really serious with me.
well, the last meeting he already propose me, asking if i want to marry with him, that time i thought he was teasing me, so i teased him back by answering No.. but his expression looks really serious, and i found out that he was serious.
but still our family not yet involved in this relationship, me and him not yet have a courage to tell our family but this situation.
Currently he stay in australia for continue his master degree which need more then 2 years to finish it. Im not young girl anymore, i;m going 28 and he is 29/30 korean age.
I have no idea what to do with this relation, he asked me just wait for him, but he didn’t give me any clue, what till happen after i wait for him..
So how should I ask to him, to make sure this relation is going to the right way,, marriage.
Thanks,
Thank you for your question. We have one other question we received first, but we will answer yours as soon as possible. Hang in there
Hello,
I am in love with a korean guy, we go to the same university and we met, when we took the same class about a year ago. I am 19 and he is 21.
I always feel and act very shy, when I am around a person I really like. When there is no him, I am very funny, communicative and totally normal.
I am not korean (still asian), and I dont speak korean.
The problem is that…He is not a shy one at all, at least he seems to be so. Sometimes when we meet at some university events, we talk, and he seems to like me as a girl, but we never text/chat after that. I mean, we talk only when we see each other. that’s why talking to him is a very rare occasion, because we meet rarely.
The first time I saw him this year after a long period of time, was another university event, he sent an invitation to me on facebook, which i dont think was something special or anything, but i decided to go there still. on the day when he sent the invitation, our eyes met at a cafe, when i was walking past him, but i was with my girl friend and he was with a girl friend as well, so i thought:”alright, i havent seen you for ages, why say Hi then, you probably dont even remember me”. he didnt wave hi to me either. So yeah, then BOOM I got that invitation, and i decided to go. cause i thought that accidental meeting had something to do with the invitation.
when i just got there, he came up first saying”ooh, it’s been a long time” and hugged me, which was a bit weird, because we are not that close friends at all, til that time, we probably had a talk for a couple of times, not more. i mean, i’m not that kind of friend of his, who he could miss. we were never close at all. but i think at the moment when he hugged me, i clearly understood that i liked him a lot. i knew i liked him before, but i thought it was not serious.
i met him the second time about a couple days ago at a university event as well. there were very few people there, but he took the time to come up to me and talk and i tried to act as normal and funny as i could, but i was burning inside and shaking and all that… in the end he said that he’d like to attend an event of mine (i’m the president of a student group). so i promised to send him an invitation.
everything seems to be okay, but i dont understand, why he is so passive, if he likes me. does it mean, that he doesnt like me as a girl, but just being friendly ? he never sends me messages or anything like that… i am hesitating to message him, cause i’m afraid i would never get a reply…and i think that a guy must make the first moves. and if he doesnt, then it means he’s not interested, in my opinion. i would understand, if he was a shy one, but..as i said before he’s not. he’s very friendly and communication is not a problem for him.
and the second problem is that i dont know for sure if he has a girfriend or not. however, the facebook status says Single
otherwise, the last thing i would want to do is ruining a relationship…
Also, i thought about the problem, that i am not korean, and i thought about the possibility, that he is not interested in me as a girl, because i’m not korean
anyways..please heeeeeeelp
Thank you for visiting our site and leaving your question. We will get to it as soon as we answer the previous one. In the meantime we hope you will find something interesting to read here.
Thank you ! Also, I think it’s worth mentioning that he’s kind of americanized korean. he has been living in the USA for about 5 years I believe. But he almost always hangs out with korean friends
thanks once again ! I really appreciate the time you spend on answering the questions and helping others !!!
No problem
I wish there was someone who could answer my questions when I was falling in love. It’s not easy handling uncertainty when you have feelings for someone.
I feel so lucky to have you and your website
Hi…
is my decision right?
I’m half chinese half filipino girl but my family and I moved in phil for good when I was still young.. I am now 22 years old, and I met this korean guy last year almost 9 months ago.. well, I just really feel so alone about this so I hope you can help me out.. here’s my story..
9 months ago July 2011 to be exact I applied in a Korean school in our city, I was accepted and first week in school I had only 2 students and one of the two was the guy I fell in love with. At that time I was 21 and he’s 25 I think. At first I dont really feel anything for him, just the teacher-student relationship. I also noticed he was this shy type of guy, first 2 weeks with him he barely talked. But after about 4 weeks we just got close and I dunno how it happened. But after that he started teasing me everytime we see each other in the hallway, he’s calling me vampire and i’m calling him werewolf. A lot of teasing and all. And then one time during class he asked me who I like then I told him I like Lee Seung Gi [korean actor] then he repeated that question again and I answered him same answer I gave him before then after than he start acting like his heart is in pain [physically] at first I dunno what does that action means but my friend told me he might be hurt that it wasnt him that I like and so he started acting that in a joke way so it wont be obvious.. then he also asked if I do have a boyfriend that time and I said no and he told me that I must get a boyfriend, and I also mentioned to him that I have a curfew around 7pm and he told me that my boyfriend might want to be with me more than my curfew time.. what does that mean??
and sometimes he’ll notice what I’m wearing like last time when I was wearing a coat and I just passed by him he really asked me isnt your coat thick? dont u feel hot? and one time when I had a new student and he’s kinda good looking and almost same age with me, he started asking questions like, So are you happy that the good looking new student is in your class?… who’s better me or him? – those kind of questions and I dunno why he’s asking me like that..
and one of my friend in that school was also his tutor.. so whenever he’ll have class with that friend of mine he would usually asked her to call me and let me go inside their room while they’re having class and it happened many times, i was just there listening to their conversation and whenever I decided to move out the room he would usually stop me and say Vampire where are you going? just stay here.
or sometimes when we meet each other in the hallway he would blocked my way and wont let me pass and he’d tell me Touch me first before I let you pass.. and you know this kind of actions he’s showing me made me fell for him I think.. fell harder that I dont even know how to get out of this situation..
and during his birthday I gave him a not Happy Birthday Werewolf! and he took a picture of it and upload it in his fb..
he also challenged me one time to play snake and ladder with him and he told me if he wins I wont give him assignments for 1 week and if i win he wont complain even if I give him assignments everyday.. its the first time that I have ever played that game and it was with him, so I treasure it a lot (:
what do you think his actions mean?? does it mean something? does he like me?
ah, a day after his birthday he informed all his tutors that he will be absent for the whole day because last night he got drunk and hangover the next morning.. so I was expecting that he’ll also be absent in my class but I was surprised when he entered my room that day.. so I asked him Why are u here? I thought you’d be absent the whole day and he said I was thinking that if I wont come here you’ll be alone here. I was so touched when he told me that but ofcourse I act as if its nothing… and then 1 week after that he was removed in my class and so I started to feel like I was left hanging, a lot of questions are running into my head.. my friends were telling me that he must be afraid that he’d fall for me and so on…
what I did was I tried to talk to him again, initiate the conversation first but I can feel this change like it’s not the way it was back before.. we dont talk that much anymore unlike before when he was still in my class.. we passed by each other in the hallway without even saying hi.. I asked him he doesnt talked to me anymore, he said He was shy. I tried everything to gain back the friendship we once had the closeness we once had… but I think I falied or maybe I didnt try harder? I was asking myself What should I do? but later on I just stopped trying to talk to him just trying to accept that maybe it wasnt meant to be.. September that year we stopped talking, offcially. February this year he went back to korea without talking to me. He had my number. This march a friend of mine who is also his friend told me that he has a kakaotalk so why not try to add him. So I added him and again I have to initiate the talking.. we talked and he told me he misses me but overjoyed about his message i wasnt able to reply to him right away and then he sent me a message again saying he was just kidding with the ‘haha’ … what does that mean???! I hate him but still I believe he meant it when he told me he misses me.. what do u think? Now, I decided to just stop talking to him stop initiating just to talk to him cause its always me who texts first maybe he really doesnt care at all so why would I waste my time with him…
please help me what to do
I badly need your opinion guys.. I hope you can help me out with this..
sorry I think I wrote too long, its just that if i skipped a few lines u might not be able to get my situation.. kinda a long story (:
he’s still single until now and he told me before that he once had a girlfriend 4 years ago…
hoping to get a reply from you soon ^^ thanks ~
Pingback: [Q&A] Will my Korean man marry me? « Loving Korean
Why koreans dont seem to like when you say sorry?
My korean friend gets defensive when I say sorry and never says sorry himself?Trys to make things right when we had a falling out and never said sorry and when I did or would before the falling out, would say dont say sorry, I dont want you to say sorry anymore.Then I notice he never says sorry himself but will say he is wrong etc…
Thank you for your question. I will let Kimchi Man answer this one
Hi Oegukeen and Kimchi Man. Thanks for asking around for stories/suggestions about my current situation. I’m glad there are many ladies out there who are strong and steadfast in their mixed relationships. Lucky for me, Oppa is loyal and faithful, and his closest friends and brother do know about me. I do feel accepted by him and those he cares about, but I’m just afraid of the future. As you both know, there are many obsticles in our way, ie. Oppa’s work visa, my family’s view on our relationship, our job instabilities, etc. I’m afraid of losing my bestfriend-slash-boyfriend-slash-big brother-slash lover, and I don’t think marriage (if even possible) will help us grow in the direction it has been going.
Oppa has helped me to love and appreciate myself, to forgive others, to place all my troubles in a prayer that can be lifted away from my shoulders, to believe in myself and dream big, and especially to love someone for his/her heart not appearance. He is my angel, and for once I don’t want to say goodbye to such a great relationship. As we continue our job searchs for the upcoming school year, I don’t know where we’ll end up. All I know is that Oppa has been offered an interview for the Los Angelos School District in California–and we live in Minnesota. As much as I want to keep him with me, I at least want him to gain the interview experience, and then we’ll see what next steps come along…. All I want now is a few prayers that Oppa and I will remain together, with viery little distance and tears in between, if possible. Thanks.
-writer1986
We are always glad to help and we hope you can go trough this and end up getting what you want.
Your Oppa sounds amazing and he is a great support and a loyal partner to you. If he really is as you describe him you don’t need to worry about him not telling his parents yet.
Don’t be discouraged by bleak future. The good thing about the future is that you don’t know what it will be like.
Kimchi Man and I also face what seems like an insurmountable obstacle to us being together. In our future we will have to spend a lot of time on the different sides of the world and we face A LOT of uncertainty. But none of us knows what is really going to happen so why give up on these great loves we found?
Keep in touch
Hi,
I’m a Filipino, and i fell in love with this korean guy, we go to the same university but we’re not classmates. I’m 18 and he’s 23. I first saw him last November when me and my friends are standing in front of an internet cafe near our school, as i saw him i told my friends that he’s handsome (well he’s not facing us, just saw his side frame) and it’s like he heard it because he looked at me and i’m like so shy and my friends told me that my face turned red, we’re not near each other that time so i supposed that he really has a good ear. Haha!! when he looked at me i realized that he’s not handsome at all and i told my friends and they just laughed about it. Up until now i still think that it’s so funny
After that, we always pass by each other almost every day in school and i always remember the first time i saw him and i smiled or laugh a little whenever i see him. i don’t know why but my heart beats so fast whenever i see him
. I realized that he’s cute and he has a good posture and he’s also physically fit, i also learned that he is single, he already finished his military service and that his friend (also a korean guy) is my former classmate in one of our subjects a year ago. I added him as a friend on facebook and he quickly accepted my friend request. i found his facebook profile because of his friend (the korean guy which is my former classmate).
At first i’m shy to chat with him on facebook because i’m afraid that he will not reply, but my friends dared me to do it and they also told me to give my cellphone number to him, i really gulped a LOT of courage to chat with him and i’m so happy that he replied. I told him that i always see him in school, and he asked me why i don’t say hello or hi to him, i told him that he looks so serious. He said that he’s bored and tired in school, and i ask him why, he told me it’s because he doesn’t have a girlfriend. I’m like (0_0)……Haha!! After that i gave him my number if he needs help or anything and i told him that i will definitely say hello to him the next day and he said that he will be looking forward to it but i didn’t saw him the next day.
I told my friends about it and they’re so happy for me, but whenever i see him in school i can’t say hello to him because my friends always shouts my name and i’m shy or embarrassed and i asked them why they’re doing it and they said that they shout my name when he’s around for him to remember that i’m the one he chatted with. He’s always with his friend and his friend is always saying hello to me and my friends because he knows that we’re his former classmates, i respond to his friends’ hello but i cant say hello to him because i’m so shy and i really can’t look him in the eye. i forgot to say that he always look so serious, it’s like he’s unapproachable and not friendly but i saw him thrice laughing with his Filipino classmates. ^^-
I put a smiley and hello to him on his chatbox on facebook the next day after we chatted, he’s online then and he didn’t reply, i did the same thing the next day but i still didn’t get any reply from him, we never chatted after that, i didn’t receive any text message from him not once.
I remember before, my friend and i saw him outside the school and we followed him he bought a cigarette and i pretend to buy something and i looked at him and he’s looking at me, i’m so shy that i looked away and pretend to look something on my wallet, after that my friend told me that he smiled when i looked away.
My friends urged me to say hello to him before the semester ends but i’m afraid that he will not respond because i didn’t even get a reply from him on facebook, but whenever my friends and i passed by him they told me that he’s looking at me and they think that he already know me eventhough i pretend not to know him when he’s with his friend.
The last day of the semester is our finals exam and my friends and i are reviewing in the student center and he and his friend passed by us, as usual his friend waved at us i didn’t get the chance to see him because my table is facing the other side, well i saw his back. haha!! after a few minutes they passed by us again and my friend who is facing me told me ‘he’s approaching you’ but then my other friend screamed well maybe of excitement because my crush is approaching me.
But then he didn’t approach me, he just freezed there after my other friend screamed at the top of her lungs and he just like backed out and walked away with his friend. I don’t know if he’s shocked or what. He’s in South Korea right now for vacation, he’ll be returning here in the Philippines maybe this May or June, i always looked at his facebook profile and he always posted there that he needs a girlfriend, but i don’t have the courage to chat with him anymore because i’m afraid that he will not reply again.
Do you think he’s not interested in me? or it’s because he thinks i’m too young for him? or is he just waiting for me to approach him? OMG i really don’t know what to think
I forgot to say that i’m a year ahead of him in school and i’ll be graduating next year, i still want to see him after that.
I’m so sorry if i wrote toooooo long. haha!! Anyways i really need your help, i don’t know what to do
I’m hoping to get a reply from you soon ^^- Thanks!! 
We have answered your question, you can find it here http://lovingkorean.wordpress.com/2012/04/25/qa-does-my-korean-university-mate-share-my-feelings/
Good luck and have a nice day
Hello,
I am an American living in South Korea as a teacher. I have been talking to a male Korean friend online, strictly language exchange and sharing cultural differences, etc. although there is a Korean guy in which I am interested. My friend, however, said that Korean men think Western women are all easy and that they have sexual fantasies about us and that I should be super careful if Korean men approach me because they will expect certain things from me and they can be dangerous. I don’t just believe every aspect of this as the total truth about the danger and the fantasies, and am not someone to overgeneralize! ..But regarding the idea of us being easy I am wondering if you have any advice/opinion on how widespread this idea is, I don’t want to generalize, but I wish I could have some idea as to whether or not this really is the majority of thinking around here? It makes me so sad, I am not easy! Thanks for your time.
I didn`t know that!!!! I heard that they like european/american females because they are beautiful not that they have sexual fantasies . lol
Hello,
Welcome and thank you for your question. It is an interesting topic how Korean men see western women.
hi i would like to get actor daniel henneys and rain bi home address..could u pls find it n post..becoz since im residing in outer country..its really very hard to find their address.
I’m sorry, we don’t have their address. Maybe you can find a fan site for them and see if they have some info on where to send fan mail?
Hi, I would like to say your posts are really helpful especially since I just unexpectedly fell for a Korean guy myself ^^
I met a Korean guy online, I am 24 years old and he is, 34 years old and he recently visited my country to meet me and my parents for the first time. During his short visit (only 4 days) we became a couple. ^^
But after we became a couple, he said something like could I please “accept” him.
He said that in Korean culture, “accepting” a person and being a couple means giving your heart and body completely to that person, and it’s like saying, “I love you and so I want to give you myself.”… is this true?
..I found him to be so “fast” and I was scared, since I come from a culture that is very very conservative/reserved when it comes to romantic relationships (we strongly believe in saving oneself/reserving oneself for marriage).
But he understood me and said that he respects our culture and I am happy about that.
He is now back in Korea, and plans on visiting again, but I am afraid that he will try to make me “accept” him the next time we meet…
I’ve been trying to find out anything about this “acceptance” thing, and I haven’t found anything about it..I am starting to think that maybe he lied to me…
…I am really confused and “scared”…is there really such a thing as this kind of “acceptance” for us to become an official couple???
sorry for the long post, I just really really need your help on this…thanks ^^
Hi! We are really glad that you think what we do is helpful. We will answer your question soon.
First of all I wanted to thank you for the great site and the time you take for answering our questions. I have a general question. Do Koreans prefer older or younger women? Until now I read several times that many would not mind to date an older, more mature woman. I’ve even encountered couples with up to 10 (+) years age difference (usually the man was older). You should know that in m country (also in my family) women with older men are quickly “stamped”. Thank you in advance!
Greetings from Germany
Thank you for your kind words! We are glad you like our site and asked us a question.
I met a Korean man online about two months ago. We wrote a few times using email and before long we had exchanged phone numbers and were writing from the time we woke up until the time we fell asleep. Soon after, we meet in person and became good friends although we both brought people with us to the first meeting so we had little chance to talk about anything personal.
The next time we met was alone and ended up talking for 7 hours! After that, he started calling multiples times a day for quick 5 minute chats to check on me and texting in between. When we are out, he takes tons of photos of us together and candid shots of me when I am not looking. He also gets very protective, carries everything, insists on paying and walks/sits very close so we are always touch in some way. I have all his passwords and usernames that he volunteered (as an American, I know married couples that don’t know that about each other!). He says I am too cute when I mess up my Korean sayings and grins like crazy when I call him obba. He makes sure when we are with friends I stay by him and pay more attention to him than anyone else… He even is going to introduce me to his family, though I have not mentioned it. The fact I am home minded and know my way around a household like a pro is something he constantly mentions as “so cool” and says I am the perfect feminine woman.
To me, this all seems like signs he likes me but he hasn’t said anything about a relationship. Am I suppose to just assume? He mentions that it is very hard for him to express his feelings and that it takes time before he can say anything aloud… Also, could he be a little anxious about the age difference? He is 6 years my senior though he says we are on the perfect maturity level… One last question, any advice on how to behave toward Korean man that might be different than American? I always let him take the lead and just try to follow but at the same time provide enough challenge he doesn’t get bored.
Sorry for the book… I know I am such a bore but I appreciate you taking the time to read it.
Lizzy B.
Hello Lizzy B.,
Thank you for your question. We will try and answer shortly.
Hi there
What birthday present should I give my Korean close friend for his 18th birthday? We’re not going out but we’re quite close. I’ve read so many responses on Korean birthday gift ideas and people mostly suggest a handmade gift.. But I’m kinda running out of time, his birthday is coming up in 4 days and I haven’t got paid for this week yet. So my budget is quite low but I don’t wanna give him something very low budget too. But I also wanna give him something a bit pricey to show how much he means to me but I don’t wanna look too much in front of our school mates because apparently we’re not going out (although I somehow expect we will be soon, yeah I’ve got feelings for him).
Pleasssseeeee help me. I’m so running out of ideas.. Thank you so much there
I will answer your question in short here because by the time we publish a post about it, his birthday will already have passed.
Kimchi Man says there is no special gift for 18th birthday. However, 21st of May is a day to celebrate people who just became grownups and a gifts for that are a rose, a kiss and perfume.
Here is a gift giving guide http://seoulistic.com/korean-culture/korean-culture-says-buy-these-gifts/ but 18th birthday is not mentioned.
Don’t worry about the fact that he is Korean and just get him something you think he might personally like. If he is from Korea then give him something that is specific about your country to remind him of the time he spent there.
Hi Anon. A gift from the heart is never low budget. And I’m sure your friend will cherish anything you give him. My suggestions are to grab anything you have in your house or work, and create something–so yes, a handmade gift may be the way to go. You could make him a card and bake him cookies! This is my boyfriend’s favorite gift because he prefers things that I made from the heart (and reading my notes to him) and food
So give that a try if you like. Hope this helps!
Hello
I’m going to study hangul in south korea for approximately 1 year. I’m an asian girl who studied overseas for quite a while so im used to the north-american culture.
Now,, i’m really into kpop, i wont lie about it. And that’s probably my main reason of planning to study hangul in korea as soon as i finish my education here.
But i noticed that all korean women seems flawless. In terms of appearance, i feel that all of them are attractive (they just looks..perfect and it’s killing me). So i’m kind of concern that it will be hard for me to get a korean male as a friend later because of that. It might seems ridiculous but i do know a few korean male here and they dont show any interest with other girls except korean (i do noticed that many girls are showing their interest with them but they dont react to it).
So, i know that many non-asian girls have this question of whether asian male like non-asian girls or not but in my case, did they have interest with asian (but not korean) girls? — i actually feel that non-asian girls have higher chance than me, as asian girl but from different countries, to get korean male as a friend or even boyfriend. — i know that basically it all comes to personality and racial background should not matter at all, BUT it will not be right to say that people don’t take this thing into consideration.
I know that my question might be your typical question and i’m sorry for asking such question. It’s just that i’m afraid that i’ll be all alone in korea and the learning experience wont be as fun as what i’m experiencing here and i’m beating myself for it. Or the worst part is, i ended up getting more foreigner friends(non-korean), my english stays the same (or even better), i still cant speak korean language at all and i’m wasting 1 year of education and money.
Thank you and i appreciate you guys reading (and hopefully) answer my question
Hello, welcome to our blog. And don’t be sorry, your question is just fine
We will answer it as soon as possible.
Hello
I met a Korean guy online who is six years younger than me. Do you think that most korean men are mindful of older asian woman? I’m always the one initiating text msgs and he had been very friendly and open to me. But maybe he is just being nice. Do you think he would scared off if I said something like I miss you?
Thank you for your comments
We just wrote about Korean men with older women http://lovingkorean.wordpress.com/2012/05/06/qa-do-korean-men-like-older-women/. Maybe you will find something helpful there.
As far as if he will be scared off or not, there is only one way to find out
Hey there! So I was just wanting some insight on a relationship that I have found myself in.
I’m a 22y/o Canadian Female, and He is a 29Korean y/o Native S.korean. We met through volunteering at our church, and hit it off pretty quickly. He is super outgoing and funny, and we went out for dinner in Feb, where I secured a big crush on him
I decided not to jump out and confess to him, but just to be friends and see where it goes!
About a month later, with us hanging out fairly often in groups, He confessed that he liked me and I confessed back. I did not expect it, or see it coming! It was a lovely surprise. We started to hang out alone more, and he got more physical (Hand holding, cheek kissing all that junk haha) and I really was growing to like him, excited to another person in my life.
The thing was we never decided that we were dating or where it was going, so I was feeling torn about enjoying that date-y atmosphere when we were together, but having a Casual-contact friendship when apart.
Fast forward a month (to Apr 28th about) and I told him that we needed to talk about where this was going. After dinner we went to a coffee shop and talked. I told him I knew what I wanted, but did he? I told him I am looking for a relationship in the future. We talked a long time, he said he worried a lot about losing our friendship if we broke up and really wanting to be careful because I am important to him. These things make sense and I respect it!
The MAIN thing that came out of this is that He said “In my culture, one party falls in love, and then you become boyfriend and girlfriend” and he was SHOCKED when I told him that here, often we will date as b/f g/f for a year even and then say I love you. He wants to pursue the friendship and wait on “A change of heart” but I don’t know how to pursue something that seems to be lacking commitment? I would love insight into this if you have any!
He asked for time to think, now that he knows how I feel and we didn’t contact each other for almost 1.5 weeks after the conversation. We did hang out in a group the other night, and it was nice, he texted me after wishing me well to work. I really care for this guy, and I don’t want to have our friendship fall in to awkward-ville, but I also don’t want to find out I’ve been “friend-zoned” haha
Any advice would be great, I feel at a bit of a stand-still right now and a bit unsure of where to go next
Thanks for reading my novel – any insight will be appreciated. Blessings
Welcome to our site and thank you for posting a question. We will try to answer it as soon as possible.
Hello
I met this Korean guy in my school and he’s few years younger than me. I like him already before we started seeing each other. But unfortunately I was the one who first asked him to eat lunch with me. Now we still seeing each other though not that often, but what worries me is that I don’t have any idea about our status.
I already told him that I like him but he just told me that we are friends. That made a bigger confusion on my part because he didn’t said that he doesn’t like me or confirm that we are “only just” friends.
Since I’m not a Korean I feel that there is no chance for him to like me but my friends keep on telling me that there’s a possibility that he also like me since he is always willing to see/meet me. But I still have this doubt that he is just being friendly and he doesn’t have any special feelings towards me. I don’t have any idea if he also think that we are having a date or he just consider it as a simple hang out with a friend.
Do you think he is just being friendly? And I don’t know also how to ask him regarding the things that bothers me about our status. How will I confront him? When he go out with me does that mean something?
I’m really looking forward to your advise. It will help me a lot. Thank you.
Hi, welcome to our site and thank you for posting a question
Hi! I am an Asian-American high-schooler, and I’m a bit confused right now with a crush and a relationship. I had a Korean boyfriend of two years and was mistreated by him because I lied a small white lie and he took it to heart. He would be cold to me and be most bi-polar around me. One day, he’ll be who he was (charming, open and friendly) and the next he’ll be really harsh. We broke up two days ago but are still going through some complications. Well, I stopped hanging out with him last week and met an absolutely amazing Korean guy through a close friend, who came from Korea 4 years ago. After talking to him for a while, I started to feel attracted, but his friend tells me he prefers Korean girls. The third time we were around each other, I was talking to a friend and when I looked over, he looked up and we caught eye contact for several seconds, and a smile came onto his face halfway through, which got me curious. My close friend says he MAY be interested but that he is still a Korean and all. The Korean guy in question did tell me that most Korean males tend to go back to Korean females in the end, which broke my hope a little.
I do have hope that he may become more interested in me, but I feel so awkward around him! On Facebook, we talk for hours but when we see each other, it’s awkward. We talk about so many things, and he told me that I wasn’t like other girls and am very thoughtful and kind. He prefers Korean girls but says that they are very dramatic and expecting of their boyfriends a few moments later. I feel like I’m beginning to be attracted to him and I don’t understand how I fell so fast. He seems to ideal, smart, cute and extremely shy;. He knows my situation with my ex (who I loved dearly) and thinks, like everyone else does, that it isn’t a good relationship to be in. Unlike my ex, he doesn’t mind that I love Korean culture and even teaches me Korean at lunch breaks. He comforts me and makes sincere comments when we have more serious discussions, such as demanding girlfriends and how I think it’s very ridiculous how many Korean girls demand expensive gifts. He’s the polar opposite of my ex and seems like such an awesome guy. I can’t stop thinking about him, and I don’t understand at all. Do you think that even if he prefers Korean girls, he will still be able to see me in a different light?
He told me he likes his best girl-friend, but she isn’t interested, so that gave me a little hope. I invited him to a movie tomorrow, and somehow, I feel like he’s disinterested at one moment and interested the next. My mom is driving a few of us, and when I offered him a ride since he didn’t have one, he quickly refused. ._. I don’t understand at all. He’s so sweet with me and I’m positive that he’s a very nice, sincere guy. Do you think he might have a small push of feeling at me?
Just a little excerpt showing him being charming, and it confused me:
Me: Yea, I’ve moved a lot in my life xD
I know the right types and the ones to avoid.
Him: ohoho… very mature .. ;D
Me: Of course! Haha. I just don’t want to get hurt..I ask for very simple things.
Like trust. And I’m not the type to care about expensive gifts and such. Blegh.
Him: korean girls expect stuff like that a lot.. ._.
Me: It’s not a good thing..
An ideal relationship is where both love each other and trust each other, without expecting diamonds or expensive stuff.
Him: mhmm..like, korean girls, they expect like alot… of their boyfriends…D:
Me:Yes, they doo..
Him: like 1-year event or special days
where girls get chocolate from guys… like that. If you skip one of them, they get pissed as hell kkk.
Me: Wow.. ._. Poor boyfriends..
Psht. all I want is time with my boyfriend on those kinds of days. xD
Having someone’s trust and love is enough. Gifts are just material.
Him: mhmm..there are really few girls who think like you kkk.
I think you’re really thoughtful and kind compare to foxy-koreans or other girls. Very mature. -__–
My friends say to go for him, and start a friendship, since they think he’s interested in me, but I just want some evaluation ._.
Sorry for the long post. It’s just really bothering me right now and I don’t need more frustration in my mind. Thank you so much, I hope you reply to me soon! ^_^
Hi and welcome. We are glad you asked us a question. We hope we can reply soon as well! But we have been getting many questions, which is wonderful, but means you might have to wait a bit. Don’t worry, we’ll do our best
I’ll be waiting on it! Thank you so much for this amazing blog.
You are very welcome, and we are so glad you like it. Here is the answer http://lovingkorean.wordpress.com/2012/05/20/qa-if-korean-guy-prefers-korean-girls-do-i-stand-a-chance/. We hope you like it as well.
Hi,
So I have a question : Do korean people value and respect more europeans (more specifically continental europeans) than us, americans or british folks?
At my Uni, me and my buddies befriended few korean exchange students (1 girl and 2 guys). The other day we were talking about europe. At one point I asked them what they though about europe, and if they liked america better. They all told me unanimously that they really liked america, but they preferred europe (particularly italy, france and spain). I asked why, and they basically told me that europeans are good looking, more cultured, better dressed, thinner than us americans, and that basically europe was old and beautiful with lots of different languages and cultures. So I laughed, and was like “alright, fair enough”. But I have to say that the way they answered my questions really gave me the strong impression that they really think europeans are far better than americans. Also, oddly enough: the guys seems to think that american and british women seemed more promiscuous than the european ones (ok that kinda pissed me off, and I don’t think I need to explain why… -_-)
That’s a very intriguing questions. I’ll do a bit of research, consult Kimchi Man and let you know.
Thank you very much for taking the time to read my question. I’ll wait patiently for the answer ^^
Sorry that you had to wait a bit for the answer, but we hope you will like what we wrote http://lovingkorean.wordpress.com/2012/05/24/qa-do-koreans-value-europeans-more-than-americans/
Don’t want to take anything for granted:
I’m on this Korean dating site, I’m interested in having a Korean boyfriend and more if possible. I’m a 48 year old white women and I got this message from this very attracted Korean man who is 41 years old. The only thing in the email was Hi…that was on May 2nd. I responded back on the 2nd asking him how long he has been in the US…he responded back on the 3rd letting me know he has been in the US for 15 years but only speaks English half. He wanted to know what I thought about Korean men and I wrote back telling him I am interested in learning Korean culture and language and dating Korean men.
The next email I got he stated this…”.I would love to talk to you many thing.
But writing problem.
can I talk?” I was taking that he wanted to exchange phone #’s and I asked him that, he says sure no problem remember half English. So then I wondered if that was what he was wanting to do…I was a little concern that he would feel like it came from me wanting to…not that I don’t. He writes me back and states “You can call me.
I’m saying about nervous.
We can talk..” So I wrote back and also gave him my number.
He called me on Thursday May 10th and we talked for just a short and then he told me to text him my email address and he would send me some pictures. I sent him my email address and he sent me a couple of pictures. Then I receive this message from Kakao Talk it was from him…saying wow you use this? we talked for a short on that Friday evening and he sent me a couple more pictures and then he sends me the next message that he was very busy talk to later bye honey. I knew he was busy at work Friday’s and Saturdays is his busiest times. I followed up by saying I hope he has a restful night when he’s out of work. When he got home he sent me a reply saying Thanks…you too honey..GD night. I replied back because I was still up and the thought I was already in bed…we talked just for a few then he wanted to get a shower and sent me 3 smiling faces and 5 heart symbols.
Sorry I am finally coming to my question…when we had talked on the phone he said he would like to meet and that he wanted to start looking for his wife…he had been busy making his American dream and would like to be married in 2 years…I told him that I was in Ohio and he is currently in Texas and then will be going back to California….On Saturday morning I sent him a text just to say Good Morning with a smile face and he wrote back and we had some small chatter and then he states “Honey I miss you” I asked him did he still want to meet…he states “Yes, I’m not playing this. Very serious” I stated I am too…because I am…he states “Thank you…I will try best for you. then some more chatter and then “Honey I gotta work.”
My questions: Do I take that he is serious about a relationship with me and if so what should I think because he is still going on the online site…I went on to turn mine off…to see where this may go. and notice him online. The other question if I contact him first instead of waiting for him to contact me am i being pushy…I have read so much now I’m afraid of doing the wrong thing…I am really interested in getting to know him and see where this can go…and I’m not into playing head games or other games…so like I said at the beginning of this long message I don’t want to take anything for granted…in other words I don’t want to read into something if it’s not there…been burnt too many times by doing so.
Thank you for this great place to get information on relationships with Korean men and non Korean women.
You’re welcome, and in return, thank you for posting a question. We’ll answer it as soon as possible.
Thank you…I look forward to your reply… I also want to throw in another detail that just happened.
I was asking the Korean guy about him and I asked him through katalk if he had been married and if he had family in the US and he seemed hurt by my question…not sure why. Here is his reply and I hope you can also help me out with this too… “honey you have confusing with other guy. Maybe you talk with other Korean peoples. i told you single when we talk… I don’t feel good. What does that mean…I did not mean to say he was married I was just wondering if he had ever been married because I had. I wrote back and told him that I didn’t mean anything by it and that I was only talking to him no one else. Let him know that I felt bad if I hurt him.
If you could also give me some kinda help on it too would be great.
Thank you so much!…
New twist to my both of my comments…since the last comment I told you about on May 15th..the guy has stopped communicating with me over what I stated in the previous comment..and I don’t know what to do because I really like him even tho I have not met him and we have not been communicating for very long. There is something about him that draws me to him and I miss hearing his voice and texting him. I have talked to others before through chat and have not felt this way…I desperately need your help and response as soon as possible…I don’t know if to just give him more time or am I wasting my time. i can’t believe it could change from the way he was talking to me in the first comment that I posted to you. So please please can you please help me and give me your advise as soon as possible I am going crazy with not knowing what I did wrong.
Thank you,
I’m really sorry it did not work out the way you wanted it to.
After reading all three of your comments it seems your problem with him is more of a relationship problem and doesn’t have anything to do with the fact he is Korean. Kimchi Man and I feel we know about Korean culture, but we are not equipped to solve problems like this. We believe you will get a better advice from a professional advice column.
Hi, I actually knew a korean guy through online…we chat almost everyday, it seems a routine for us….but sometimes I think that online chat between both us could be difficult because we are from different country. I am from Malaysia. I knew him about 2 weeks plus…it seems that we are quite good friends with each other…seem we have good feelings…just don’t wish to lose contact with him….hmm…he is kind of funny, whenever I say Jal Ja to me, he will ask me why not Jal Ja Nae Kkum Kwar? I don’t say that because I heard that Jal Ja Nae Kkum Kwar is talk between a couple or someone special…but he always like me to say Jal Ja Nae Kkum Kwar to him…is a bit weird…sometimes, I am thinking can online friend or love be trusted??
A person who can be trusted in real life can be trusted online as well. But surely you can’t know whether he is a person like that after knowing him for just two weeks.
“Jal Ja Nae Kkum Kwar” means “Good night and dream about me.”
Hi, from the way I know him and talk to him almost everyday in the webcam and mic, I can see that he can be trusted. Can you explain to me what you mean ‘whether he is a person like that’? Today I see his working place. He is working in KISA (Korea Internet and Security Agency)…He showed me his working place and so on. Actually, the word ‘Jal Ja Nae Kkum Kwar’…I seldom talk to him…hehe…but I have friends told me we can say this to our close friends or lover….actually, he didn’t force me to say also…he just teach me some basic korean words. Sometimes, he could make fun on me. He told me that he has good feeling on me and he like me because I don’t care about his height. He said that in Korea, hardly can know a girl who doesn’t care that he is short. He said both of us are too far from each other and we should have chance to meet each other in real person on day.
Hmm…let me start off by saying I am American and he’s South Korean… In Korea I am 30 and he’s 31. About three months ago, I met this guy while out with my friends, I found him really funny. We exchanged numbers and would talk often. In the beginning he would call me often and respond quickly to messages. I even went on a trip with him. It was two of his friends and two of mine. It was a bit of a disaster because some personality clashes but I admired his effort. After a while it stopped, his job started to become really demanding and then it started to become me making the effort to talk and him either not having the time then, or just too tired. He would always end up calling after he finished work or maybe a day or so after and would apologize frequently. But I ended up getting frustrated and decided to move on and attempt to date other people. About a month or two of not contacting him, he calls me randomly on a Saturday night, to tell me again he was sorry, that he quit his job, that he would like to connect with me and asked me out to dinner. So I decided to go on the date with him. And compared to the other guys that I have went on a date with, I definitely like him the most. I was the most comfortable with him, there wasn’t any awkwardness at all…maybe the first five minutes, but after that it was perfect. So after that date I told him it was fun and asked when can we meet again. His response was after he found employment. So now….. I find myself back at the beginning with him. And it’s troubling me. Because I know how much I like him so i don’t want to do the same thing i did before. I don’t know if t’s my culture talking, but I feel like an idiot for just waiting around. So, I wanted to ask you guys, judging by our story am I wasting my time waiting or would i be wasting someone else’s time by trying to get involved with other people knowing that when he calls, I’ll go running by his side.
Welcome and thank you for posting your question. We will answer as soon as we can.
Thank you. Trust me, I will anticipating your answer. : )
I’ve always wondered if there’s any chance I could meet a Korean guy online? Not like date or anything, no, gosh no. I would really want to have a foreign friend that’s from another continent, a continent as amazing as Asia. I have been into Korean clothing, culture and especially music for quite awhile now, like three years or even four and I would really like to get to know a Korean person more. Actually, I guess it wouldn’t matter if it would be a girl or a guy, right? I guess you’re wondering why I’m a bit off when I said “not dating”, uhm, I have a..sort of family that is..sort of racist towards Asians, practically most of my friends too…So I would say I ride “solo”, though, I have a Romanian friend who’s into Koreans just as much! But yeah..she’s also an online friend… Heh, I’m solo, huh..? I mean…I get a bit harshly judged on what I find attractive, like my real life friends are into European or American guys…and when I say I find Asian guys cuter, they give me that “what the hell” look. Though, I don’t mind, I’m different, right? Better than being plain. But yeah, back to my question if I could somehow be friends with a Korean, if I could, I really wonder where I could meet someone who’s willing to chat with a European like myself! ^_^
Hi and welcome. I’m sorry to hear that people that surround you are so… “unpleasant” towards Asians.
Actually, we wrote a very detailed post about how to meet South Koreans so we are sure you will find your answer there: http://lovingkorean.wordpress.com/2012/01/18/how-to-meet-south-koreans/
Hi, I feel so sad and a bit weird lately…the korean guy whom I online with him everyday using cam and mic, lately, he just couldn’t use the mic and cam with me often because his brother is sharing the bedroom with him…so it is a bit uncomfortable and he is shy to talk with me infront of them. He did told his family about me. Last few days, I had sent 2 pictures of myself to him..because he said wanna show it to his brother..the next morning he showed to his brother, and his brother told him that I am not pretty just because I didn’t tied up my hair, is this logic? Lately, I just couldn’t talk much with him…he just online few minutes, he just log in to skype and say hello and goodnight to me. Just now, he online in skype using his smartphone, he said good night to me as it is 10.34pm…he told me that he is sleepy and tomorrow he need to wake up early for work…I am thinking could it be because his brother said I am not pretty enough then he slowly avoid talking to me anymore? Then, I was thinking what he said, when he said he wish that I am can be his girlfriend and he wants to see me as soon as possible, then he did ask me before, if one day he really want to marry me, what will I do? He said he know I like him and he like me too…there is a feeling there, but….I don’t know how to explain..he told me that he is old and we are far from each other…he said we should meet each other one day….if he really like me, why I didn’t see he is doing anything to show me any clues? is it because he is shy and he dare not to? sigh! I’m gonna be crazy….why I will have such feeling? When he didn’t online, I feel that I am missing him..he did told me before he didn’t online always but he online just for me… I don’t know what is in my mind now….
After talking to him for just few weeks it is really difficult to tell, and you shouldn’t take things that are said too seriously.
Like I said above, you can’t know if he is a person who can be trusted, not because you met him online but because you haven’t known him long enough.
We wish we could help you more but it doesn’t seem that his behaviour has anything to do with the fact that he is Korean.
Hi! I am an online ESL teacher to Korean students. I’m based in the Philippines, and we contact students in Korea through phone. I had one male student (whom I’m having phone classes with) whom I really think is very smart and open-minded. I’m 21, and he’s 25. Usually, we just had “freetalking” topics, and I really am enjoying classes with him. At first, he was somewhat stiff, serious, and cold-hearted to talk to. He even wanted to end phone conversations hastily. But after a month, (finally!) I had the chance to talk to him about not-so-serious and funny stuffs. I guess that’s the time we started to enjoy talking to each other. We even extend our classes (normal time is 10mins) to 30 mins! We discovered that we share common interests, [what really amazed and surprised him was the fact that I don't listen to Kpop *this was like our instant-friendship moment*], same taste of music, and (as he said) “same ideologies in life.” He has a girlfriend, but he had been sharing that there is no way that he will be sweet to his girlfriend (rude?) because it’s his girlfriend who needs to adjust. (I just proved how cold-hearted he is, although most of my Korean male students think the same too #smh). After sharing few secrets, I can say that he is very open to me. He even expressed that this was the first time he had been very comfortable talking to.. well.. apparently a stranger. Being stiff he is, I find it sweet when he said that I’m the “ideal conversationalist,” as if he had been talking to a really good friend. We’re friends on Facebook though, and had been consistently communicating there if we have no scheduled classes.
UNTIL.. [:(] Recently (on a Friday), we talked about his goals in life. It was the most “emotional/dramatic” conversation we ever had. I can say that he really opened himself much. That was a good thing for me, and our conversation had ended well.. Or so I thought. Monday came, and he was not answering my calls anymore. Usually, when he cannot answer my call, he would message me on Facebook or inform me beforehand. I was assuming at first that there had been an emergency or something; but 3 days passed, and it was either he wouldn’t pick up the call, or just rudely turn his phone off after a few rings *ouch*. After that week, I saw him enlisted to an another teacher. He also asked to change schedules, and had been answering calls from other teachers. Unlucky of him, there had been few times that he was assigned to me again, BUT HE JUST HUNG UP HIS PHONE. Basically, he was not answering calls from me. I then posted a “goodbye msg” on his Facebook, saying that “I feel sad that I’m not his teacher anymore, I wish for his success” etc.. but he never replied at all. (w/c is really weird of him. I see him online, though!) He suddenly shifted from being sweet (back) to being stiff (or much worse) again.
I never remember saying anything that might offended him.
My question is.. Is there a chance that he felt he had opened to a “stranger” much? Or have I been just too nosy as a teacher?
I noticed that Koreans are really protective of themselves, and don’t like opening up to people. Not that they are self-centered, it’s just like they live by the motto, “mind your own business.” So I guess they’re naturally stiff. (hehe) But at the same time, I’ve observed that you can really gain their trust if you praise and compliment them consistently! They’re also extremely sensitive. That’s why I’m just bothered if Koreans are really that protective of their personal boundaries & sensitive. I want to say sorry if this might be the case. I hope you can help! Thanks!~ ♥
We are glad you found our site. We will try to answer your question within the next few days.
How do I tell my parents I want to be a kpop star? Please answer! I really want to pursue my dream. I’ve been training dancing and singing in secrecy for almost 2 years now and I’m serious about K-Pop. I’m willing to accept all the responsibilities that a K-pop idol has and I really want this!
I’m sorry, we would like to help, but we really don’t know anything about that. Good luck!
hi! I remember you followed me on Tumblr =) Anyway, this blog is about Korea, anything about Korea and your relationship with your Korean boyfriend, right? =) I also have the same blog as yours. ^^ And I have a Korean boyfriend, too. If you don’t mind, please visit my blog: http://kattieandkobi.blogspot.com Can I put your blog on my blog list? Please reply. You got twitter? Thank you =) -Kattie
Hello Kattie. Welcome.
I checked out your blog, it is really cute. I liked the letter he left in your laptop and how you chatted on Facebook.
Of course you can put our blog on your list, we would be honored!
You can find my Twitter in the right sidebar on the top of every page. My username is oegukeen.
Hi. I met a Korean guy a few months ago and he’s such a wonderful person. I couldn’t help falling for him! We met through taekwondo and we see each other at tournaments. He takes interest in things I like, what I’m doing, and he asks how my parents are. The last time we were together and he asked about my parents, he was going to talk to them but he shied away. Is this a sign he likes me back? Please, please help me!
It is really difficult for us to know if he likes you from so little information. You have a much better insight into how he is behaving around you. There are no special signs that Korean guys have that would be different than any other guys in the world. Maybe our answer to the question: “How to know if a Korean guy likes you?” might help http://lovingkorean.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/qa-how-to-know-if-a-korean-guy-likes-you/
Hi Oegukeen.. Its very nice to read your blog and advice here, so I think its okay to share my story with a Korean guy to you so maybe you can help me to solve my problem.
I am Chinese girl, born and stay at Indonesia. 21 y.o.
I just visited South Korea last week and I love that country so much.
At Korea, I met a guy. He is 26 y.o. I am not a person that can fall in love at first sight. So at the first time we just meet at the place I stayed (he works there) and nothing happen between us on the first day. At the second day, I had nothing to do so I just sit near the front desk; play with my phone and then we started a conversation.
He told me about anything interesting in Korea and about the army service (he just finished his army service).He helped me to search anything I want to know about Korea, and he also asked about my life and others. And I started to like him. He is tall, tough yet cute, smart, and can speak english very well. Then I asked him if I can call him “oppa” and he said yes. I’m so happy because it is the first time I can call “oppa” to someone. We already become friend on facebook and we also took picture together.
His friend knew that I like him and always tease me. But I never had courage to tell him about my feeling since I just know him for 3 days and I am a shy person.
At the last day, I even didn’t have courage to chat with him because everytime I look at him, my face turns red and he also didn’t ask me first. So we just chat for a while.
When I almost went to the airport for going back to Indonesia, I push my courage and said ” bogoshipeulkoyeyo” means “I’m gonna miss you” to him, and he replied ” I’m gonna miss you too” . It makes me very happy although this is our farewell and he never know my feeling.
After I came back, the day after, I just check my facebook and what a surprise that he REMOVED me from friend list at facebook! It makes me shocked because I didn’t send him anything, just tagging the photo on facebook. Is he mad with me? But I didn’t do anything wrong to him, I even didn’t send anything to him. And it makes me sad and confuse until now. Should I forget him, or just send him a message to ask why?
If you can give me advice, I will be very happy. Thanks before. God bless
Hi Izumee. Thank you for liking our blog, it makes us very happy
We will answer your question as soon as we answer the ones that were asked before. Hope it won’t take long.
hi i have two questions.
1.) What does koreans think about the fact that we (europeans) find them attractive?
2.) Do korean ppl even know that they’re attractive to european ppl?